DO WE DESERVE A NATIONAL HOLIDAY?

Written as a frustrated employee on 1^ST Oct 2010

 I am an employee of a leading IT company in India. Everyone knows, or at least would have heard from the hordes of people in this field, how an IT-professional's life is. At least, we get to call ourselves “professionals” when we are anything but that.

India is one of the top countries to provide cheap paid labor to the many US clients. I came across a curious trend working in my 4 X 2 cubicle. Nobody wants to work in an in-house project 

or a domestic project. Everyone wants to work for the accounts which are based outside India. Why? Well, the lure of “on-site”- the favorite word in the dictionary of an IT professional - the rosy dream of getting posted overseas. Who cares if the Indian population needs educated individuals to stand up for them? Who cares if the Indian economy can benefit from stopping the brain-drain? All we care about is getting to US (or UK, for that matter) and earning money in dollars instead of rupees. That is the yardstick for success in this industry. If a person has been to on-site, then his life's destiny is fulfilled. If not, then of course, he's a loser- doesn't know the difference between Java and Unix, and is basically the victim of office-gossip.

But has it ever occurred to our minds that we give far too much importance to others and let them walk all over us? That we are ready to let go of our sense of pride for ourselves and our country and are willing to be doormats just for the sake of an appreciation mail? I, myself, am working for a US based client, who very calmly asked my team to work on 2^nd October, a national holiday. And my team agreed readily.  Of course, it doesn't matter that it is a day to honor the man who was the driving force behind bringing an end to the oppression of India at the hands of the British rulers. Of course, it doesn't matter that the US citizens would never dream of working on the 4^th of July. Of course, our struggles and our leaders were less important than theirs.

And whom should we blame for such blatant disregard of our values and our culture? Is it the fault of the foreigners – who stepped over our rights to celebrate our National holiday? Or is it our fault – the people who allow them to do so for meager gains like appreciation notes and congratulations mail?

Isn't it time that we stopped acting like lap-dogs and be the 'professionals' we call ourselves?

If we, the so-called educated mass, do not appreciate and take pride in the immense sacrifices of the people who got us here, then who will?

IDIOSYNCRASIES OF A TWENTY-SOMETHING MIND

What to do? Who to be? And how to be it?

I want to be nothing but myself. But who am I? Is it my definition of me? Or should I let the people around me define me?
Should I be passionate about my beliefs, irrespective of their confirmation in the minds of others? Or should I let the popular vote sway me?

Is there just black and white? Right and wrong? What if I exist in the grey area? Or better yet.. the 'rainbow land'.. where everything is rosy and colorful and people still believe in fairy tales and the immensity of love. Does that make me a romantic or a fool?

Who said I have to decide one way or the other? When has it to be this or that? Why can't I believe in both sides of the coin and enjoy the contradictions of my own mind? After all, intelligence is the ability to retain opposite ideas in the mind and still be able to function.

So why should I always try to label everything? Why should I try to fit in with the crowd, when standing out is so much more fun!!


~November, 2010

Twenty-Five and Counting!

Twenty Five years. So old. Yet so young. So many dreams shattered. Yet so many new ones formed.
The time when we realize the wisdom of our parents, yet are too young to actually carry it out. The time when we realize we are not invincible,yet have the
strength to take on the world. The time when we realize that we might have finished our studies, but actually know so little.

I can personally vouch for the myriad emotions and the transition a twenty-something year old goes through. Finishing graduation makes one feel like the
king of the world. The studies are done, we are eligible to vote and change the destiny of the country, we are old enough to drive and old enough to drink (though 
not the last two together!). These little things make us feel on the top of the world. We take the same enthusiasm into our workplace. And then comes the shattering
of the dreams- because of course, here we are at the bottom of the pyramid rather than the top. And with these shattering comes a whole new level of
responsibilities. We have to manage our own money, take care of our own bills, pay for the petrol of our vehicles. And that's when we realize how much our
parents had sacrificed and compromised to see all our whims and wishes fulfilled. Of course, we had always loved them but had never really comprehended the
how's and why's behind their actions. Now we know. And now we are so much more grateful.

For me personally, the story doesn't end here. I decided to pursue higher education after working for about 18 months. Just when I had thought that I was comfortably
set in my 4*4 cubicle in front of a computer (which, by the way felt more like home than my own apartment!), fate decided to yank the carpet from
under my feet. I got an opportunity that I could not let go off and returned back to the student life. Yet another transition. There's a hell and heaven difference
between work-life and student-life- though the jury's still out on which is which. I returned from being the master of your own time to being bound in college rules
and restrictions. I let go of all my responsibilities and become the darling child of my parents again. My time table of 9 A.M. to 8 P.M. changed into
all-day classes and all-night study grinds. My 3-bedroom apartment was replaced by a hostel full of friends. 

My life turned inside-out and upside-down and topsy-turvy.
But what's more important is that I enjoyed the ride and learned something new at every stage. 
When everything's said and done, the years of my life have seen a lot of bends and forks in the road and boy, am I glad for it!

Like Douglas Adams said and I quote: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be".

~Written for a friend as a part of his MBA assignment in November, 2011

The Joy of Giving

When I was a kid, I loved getting gifts. I guess we all did. Whenever any of my innumerable relatives visited our place, they always brought something for me – be it as trivial as Diary Milk chocolate or as expensive as a frilly frock or as treasured as a story-book. The object itself didn't matter. What mattered  was the thought behind it – the planning that must have went before the object was bought. The gift proved that people thought about me – even when I was not with them. And though I was just a child, I always recognized the love behind the gesture. That's what made the gifts even more dear to me.

The tradition never changed when I went away to college. Birthdays and special occasions were a time that we freely made use of the postal service. And in this fast-paced age of technology, we even wrote letters and mailed them. What could be more personal than a letter from your Mom in her own handwriting when you are miles away from home? May be this was one of the reasons why I have always felt connected to my huge family, though we are spread all across the country.

Somehow, I was quite lucky to have a similar group of friends. We never hesitated or thought twice when we saw something that the other person would enjoy. We were always on each other's minds. And when the time finally came for our close knit group of besties (you know who you are!) to part ways, we always knew that the bond we shared would not diminish over time.

People view gifts as an obligatory gesture – something that needs to be done on certain days for certain people. Stop for a moment. Think of the impact of the same gift for the same person. Pour a little bit of your heart into it – mull it over. And then see the result. What's the point of giving a wall-piece to a guy who is staying at a rented place and doesn't have anything to decorate? What's the use of giving another pair of jeans to a girl who already thinks she has way too many? Why not look back into your time together and gift something that the person will remember forever? And I do not mean something expensive. Something as simple as a single red rose stands out amidst richly wrapped expensive gift-sets.

Invest a little less money and a little more emotion into the gifting process. The joy of the person who receives it will reflect in your own heart. And could anything be more precious?

Dearest Papa

Inspired by http://drkellyflanagan.com/2013/04/17/a-daddys-letter-to-his-little-girl-about-her-future-husband/

Dearest Papa,

I know that you are planning to marry me off to the most suitable guy, that you are looking for the next person who can take care of your daughter for the rest of her life. I know that you are looking for the perfect family and the perfect house and the perfect guy. And there are just a few things that I would like to say to you during this part of our lives.

I remember when I was a little kid and you made me take care of my dolls and in the process taught me the value of the little things. Look for a man who knows both the price and the value of the things that he owns.

I remember the times you held my hand when I was crossing the road. Look for the man who would never leave my hand and who would always protect me.

I remember the time when I was lazy and you inspired me to work hard by working hard yourself. I learned what I saw. Look for a man who is not afraid to take the stairs instead of the elevator and is not afraid of hard work.

I remember the time when I wanted to tell a small lie to get out of something I didn't want to do and you taught me the importance of honesty and integrity. Look for a man who knows and upholds the same values.

I remember the time when I wanted you to do my homework for me and you promised me that you would review it if I did it myself. You inspired me to be my own competition and made me better each day. Look for the man who will inspire me the same way in each phase of my life.

I remember the many many times when I was sad and dejected and was losing faith. I don't remember the circumstances anymore. But I remember you standing by me through thick and thin and lending me your faith. Look for the man who will always be my rock when things get rough.

I remember the numerous times you sacrificed your own comfort to take care of my needs, the number of times when you put me and my whims above your health, your career and everything else. If you can find me the man who does even a tenth of that, I will consider myself very lucky indeed.

I remember the times when you ignored a career opportunity to spend time with me and Mom. You taught me how important family ties are. Look for the man who puts family above money.

I remember the times you helped out a fellow in need irrespective of whether they deserved it or not. And when I asked, you taught me to be kind and unselfish, yet not gullible. Look for the man who is kind to not only people at par with him but also to people below him.

I remember the times when I was boastful of my achievements. You taught me humility. You taught me to be proud of all that I've achieved but not to be arrogant. Look for the man who knows the fine line between these both and is also on the right side of the line.

I remember all the little things you do around the house to keep it running smoothly and bring a smile to Mom's face. Look for the man who will not forget the little things in his quest for the bigger ones.

I remember the times when I had to face the struggles of my life and you were the one to teach me that these struggles made us stronger. You taught me that we might not control the conditions of our life, but we can certainly control how we react to them. You taught me to build my strength from my troubles. Look for the man who doesn't get swayed by adversity, but emerges stronger from it.

Most importantly, you gave me my belief in God. You taught me to see Him in all the little things of my life. You gave me my unwavering faith. You taught me to be kind and helpful and guileless. You taught me everything I know and made me everything I am. You are my hero and my inspiration. I know no man can ever measure up to you. Still, look for the man who embodies even a little of all that you are. He might not have a huge house or a lot of money. But if he has the same qualities that you have, then I will be the luckiest girl in the world.

Always Yours,

FIRST DAY, ONCE AGAIN

If you are one of those people who tends to be an introvert, you could probably empathize with me when I relay the "horrors" of a First Day- be it a first day at a new school (though, I escaped that nightmare - special thanks to my Dad who didn't take transfer- resulting in my spending 14'years in the same school) or be it a first day at a new town- where you've just moved in and you have no idea who or how your neighbous/flatmates are or be it a first day at a new office - where you know absolutely no one and the world just seems a li'l scary and a li'l gloomy.

All my "first-days" till now were somehow never really "first-days". I always had someone or the other with me when I went to a new place. And even though the situation was new, the people around me weren't - which, according to me, made all the difference in the world. This time around, however, things took a different turn. The place is my hometown - but I havent been living here since the last eight years and it is practically a stranger now. The new office is as NEW as new could be. Starting from the people around me to the system I work on to the cafeteria - everything is so different from what I was used to. New people, new work, new environment - all these together get overwhelming in a very short time. How I long for a familiar face in the throng of people!

Along with the whole new world at work, there's another whole new world at home. No more freedom-to-do-anything-at-anytime. Parents and Rules. No more Eminem and Avril. No more Shakira videos. No more AC/DC and Metallica blasting off my speakers. No more sleeping till 1pm in the afternoon or staying up late till 7am in the morning. No more short skirts and blue eye-liners. But along with all that, comes an immense sense of love and security that only your parents can provide. That familiar coccon of safety and that "pampered princess" feeling.

Experts might say that it is good to expand your comfort zone and break the boundaries. But if seeking familiarity makes me weak, so be it. Who said I had to be strong, anyways? Again there will be people who would probably advise me to "chin-up" and get on with my life. But don't they know how liberating crying-out-loud is? And who's to say ranting and raving are a waste of my time?

So here I am- on the First Day of a new phase in my life. And kicking and screaming like hell trying to hold on to the last 'familiar' one!

The Invisible Man

Recently, I came across the following quote:

“I am an invisible man.... I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids - and I might even be said to possess a mind.  I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.  ~Ralph Ellison, The Invisible Man”

This made me ponder. Whose fault is it? Is it the fault of the man that he couldn’t let the world around him see his true genius? Or is it the mistake of the people around him who refuse to acknowledge this truth? And if such is the case that he is invisible, what should his next course of action be? Should he accept his fate of invisibility and take satisfaction in the fact that he is on a whole different (and better) level that his peers? Or should he fight to gain their attention and prove to these people that he is in fact a living breathing man – worthy of their regard and respect?

Or should he just part ways with them and go his own way – far away from the demeaning group of people who made him feel invisible?